Eating Boston

It's taken the tragedy of Boston to pull me out of my informal April Writing Hiatus.  It all happened just a few days ago but it feels like it's been in our lives for much longer.  The images confirm the worst fears I've had each time we've run the Marine Corps Marathon and they also dig into memories of 9/11 that are always just below the surface.

We have family in Boston who have jobs that by all rights could've put them at the site of the bomb blasts and I am so thankful that all are safe.  I am reminded again about lamenting the 58 seconds that one of my best girls came up short in trying to qualify for Boston this year.  We were all heartbroken for her - and now what are we?  Thankful about that 58 seconds?  Thankful it wasn't them? Would her husband have been standing at the finish waiting for her when the earth shook?   What if they'd bombed the start line where the 27,000 runners were gathered together?  What if, what if...

If you've ever stood at the start line of a marathon - adrenaline coursing through your body as you anticipate the gun - you know that this whole mess touches us both as Americans and as runners.

I'll be wearing one in Pittsburgh in 18 days!

The resiliency, determination and support of running communities around the world has been a true inspiration and source of pride.  But unfortunately, the source of comfort I've chosen is food. Literally, I've been eating my feelings about Boston.  This isn't shocking news - most all of my clients have eaten their emotions all the way to my doorstep.  The most valuable work we do together is getting to the root of why and then eradicating it from their lives.  In my case, I know exactly why.  No mystery there!

My Boston Binge has lead to some serious stomach aches and a general feeling of malaise.  With each news cycle comes another empty bag of chips.  News of an arrest - and then no arrest... chalk up two more massive burritos smothered in hot sauce.  The phone rings, I don't answer it - I'll have a bowl of roasted peanuts instead.   No two ways about it - I have been shoveling it down for the past 2.5 days.

This morning I woke up and called a halt to the madness and declared a news blackout in the house for the next 24 hours.  No matter the Breaking News - I will just have to learn about it tomorrow.   I also did something I loathe - cancelled all of my clients.  I had to admit that today I cannot kickbox, burpee or mountain climb.  I am not fit to motivate, yell, encourage or torture.  My digestive system and nerves are a wreck.  There. I said it.

The way I've chosen to clean my internal house is to eat only liquid or liquified foods for the next couple of days.

On the menu for today...

6:30 a.m. - 32 oz of warm lemon water
7:00 a.m. - Large Enerprime shake
10:00 a.m. - Another large Enerprime shake with extra hemp protein powder
1:00 p.m. - Pureed homemade soup of roasted tomatoes, carrots and yellow split peas
2:00 p.m. - 32 oz of warm water
4:00 p.m. - more of the soup

I've tried to keep a steady stream of liquids and calories all day long.  The goal is to not feel 'full' at any point today.  I'll finish off with more soup and warm water tonight, along with an easy yoga practice in minimal light and an early bedtime.

Reverting to a day of liquid of food is a tool you can use at any time of stress in your life. Setting the 'reset' button is good for you and everyone around you.  Just ask my husband :)

The final way I've chosen to get over this is by writing about it.  Being sad about Boston (or the state of this world for that matter) is normal.  Keeping our words and thoughts positive is important but that doesn't magically erase anger and fear.  If you've found yourself 'eating Boston' I hope this post helps you recognize it and put a stop to it when you're ready.

Going for a run doesn't hurt either.

Here's to a brighter and more peaceful tomorrow.